is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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