i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
