i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
