ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
