Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
