i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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