I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
