oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
