he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
