you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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