U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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