I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Operation Purity has been aborted
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
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