I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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