U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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