I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
