capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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