I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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