He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
