Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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