Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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