Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
