8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
