he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
