Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
