Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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