I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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