Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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