So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
