worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
