Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
