she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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