Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
