I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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