I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
