the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
