just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
