i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
