If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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