I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
