question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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