We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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