ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
