i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
