i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
