Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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