We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The feeling are messing with the penis
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
