Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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