Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
