im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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