Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
