No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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