i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Randomize
